There is an interrelationship between the mind, body and soul. Attempting to balance all 3 levels forced me to examine my love for self.
“As we love the female body, we are able to let it be the ground on which we build a deeper relationship to ourselves –a loving relationship uniting mind, body, and spirit”–bell hooks
I’m an absolute book lover and the last book I read caused a continuous shift in the way I express self-love. I always felt I demonstrated self-love as I should, by practicing emotional and mental wellness.
When life hits hard, for the most part I can cope with the normal stresses. I make sure to have positive self-talk, exercise self-compassion and meditate. I don’t play the victim role; I look for the lesson(s) and move forward. When I’m emotionally wounded I recognized what triggered the feeling, process it and find a way to feel better. I make sure I have “me” time and engaged in things that make me feel good.
“Females easily endorse a mind-body split that lets us cultivate the false assumption that we can hate our bodies and still be loving”-bell hooks
I was shocked when I read that quote because up until this point I was pretty much confirming my personal theory that self-love comes first along with the writers discoveries. So, how is it I was missing an important piece to self-love?
I didn’t & don’t hate my body but I was uncomfortable with certain parts of it and I knew I wasn’t making healthy choices; yet I did nothing to change it.
For those of you who can relate on some level, do you play those mind games with yourself? You are on point in one area of your life but it’s not applied in another but clearly needs to be.
I could see and feel my unhealthy choices on a daily basis. It showed up when I would do the “suck my stomach in” thing, having repeated headaches, feeling fatigue and when I saw pictures and gave myself no-love.
The shift took place when I was able to tell myself the truth:
My mind, body and spirit cannot function separately therefore I cannot continue to take of one and neglect the other.
I’m not all the way there yet, but the shift has created positive results thus far.
· I practice mindful eating and it feels good.
· I am more in tuned with my body. Whenever I try to go back to an old eating habit, or I fall off track from exercising; I’m quickly reminded why I made changes and I can easily shift back without guilt or temptation.
· I exercise at least 2-3 times a week & lost 9 pounds.
· I feel more confident sexually.
· My energy is more aligned and magical things are happening.
If you are starting your self-love journey I encourage you to meet yourself where you are and make minor changes that feel doable to you and your life style. Whenever you feel like giving up…keep the end in mind and work your way back to what choices you have to make in the present moment to reclaim self-love.
I want to leave with this…”they”, meaning women
“They can begin to do the work of becoming self-loving by first reclaiming the right to inhabit a healthy body and to identify that as the foundation of beauty and attractiveness”–bell hooks
Self-love shift book: Communion: The Female Search for Love
-by bell hooks.
Monique Halley is the founder of Simply Bliss a personal development company for women, with a focus on relationship clarity. Her personal experience has led her to empower women to reclaim their Individuality in relationships. Through Reclaim a relationship coaching program, she guides women through self-exploration processes. Monique believes in order for women todramatically transform their negative relationshippatterns, they must be willing to see clearly how theyhave co-created the old ones, as well as take responsibility to begin showing up in completely new ways. They can then create authentic, happy & healthy relationship experiences.
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